12.24.2006
disappointment
ive been pondering on some things lately. i was sort of, disappointed with someone. i dont know but i was actually distressed about it. i mean, ive already talked to some friends about what happened. a friend told me something about being imperfect. yes, i know perfection doesnt exist, but when i looked back, i realized it doesnt need perfection, all it needed was a little parity. another friend told me that despite all those things, we are lucky. id still like to think that i am lucky. well at least compared with other people. actually, i dont know what to think anymore. i suddenly felt that, all this time, what i did was to try and fit in to somebody else's world and at the end of the day i realized that im getting tired and yet still want to go on because it makes me happy. too much sacrifices, taking too much risks and what do i get? sadly, nothing. still, i dont want to be back to my old self, and now i take back what i said that i get nothing, because actually, i have a lot. i was just really flippant about my well-kept outburst and now, i figured out that i aint tired yet.
i guess this is lame.
but why did it hurt?
