* i used to DANCE before. won several things in school for that (haha) * i joined a singing contest in school when i was in elementary. and i lost :(( * when i was young, i always force my dad to allow me to commute. now i always force him to drive me to school. haha * ive broken a leg because i fell from the stairs. my leg was casted. * i broke the windshield of my neighbor's car. i was traumatized to play BBall after that. * i joined a boy scout's overnight training when i was in grade 5. my mom and dad were so worried i'd starve, they brought me food in the middle of the night. ahaha * i was once given a calling card by a talent agent when i was like, 6 or 7 y/o. i auditioned and then i didnt speak. i didnt do anything since i had no idea what was that all about. haha * i hate math and english during my elementary years. then i got best in math when i was in 4th year. haha. weirdd * i used to be a phone addict. would spend 6 hours straight :) * i was once a knight of the altar. haha * i had my first CP after i graduated from grade 6 * i always haunt the mall before, now im officially a homebuddy * my friend and i once bribed a police officer because he caught us beating the red light :)) * we parked on another building's parking lot and stole the parking of the VP. haha. we were so scared after, we couldnt talk to the guards. :)) * i love cutting classes. amp. shutup!!! * im a harry potter geek. i have some collections of the stuff they sell. cost me a fortune. some of them i cant find anymore though :)) * i usually get biyahilo during long trips. not so much now, though :) * my most unforgettable experience was when we went to the charity things:) * i cheat during quizzes. now tell me, dont you? * i love experimenting with food. * i played captain von trapp before on a school play. i cringe whenever i remember that :)) * i nearly drowned when i was little. * i was hit by a motorcycle. i was so young then and my dad freaked out and nearly killed the owner of the motorcyle. * i always ask my mom to buy me a kaleidoscope when she was still working abroad. * i spat on an enemy's drink before. >:) mean * i fit clothes after i bought them. :)) * i have a thousand pictures stored in my pc. * i enjoy reading blogs. haha * i was once punished to kneel down for 30 minutes because i punched my classmate :) * when i was young, my mom would always bring me to her work and her boss would ask me to sing "a whole new world" and then get free stuff after. haha.
haha. been addicted to creating poetry lately. ano ba yun. wala lang, naaliw lang ako sa rhyming words. :))
(edited: dami ko palang typos kanina. hehe)
you never know how much i float on air ive always believed that life is unfair not anymore when you came in the scene giving me salvation and lifting me from my sin the lullaby you sing always engulfs my being why didnt i see, id suffer, in the beggining? i refuse to know the truth why you can never be mine i reject the fact, i quit, and i resign dont you see how much i dreamt of your face? watch my skin turns blue and you cant erase i see your shadow and it makes me alive your existence is the only proof that ive never been deprived ive always believed your lies and script see my heart bleeding, the fact that you always ripped you are differently talking whenever im not around dont you even hear my howls of pain, resound? this is too much, im leaving with only my coat beside your bed, i left you a note "ill hang myself tonight and leave you on your own care and love, you have never shown please make my tomb marble and write your name on top cause the moment my heart stops beating, my loving for you stops cover my grave with green moss at the side to tell the world, that because of you i have died"
haha. been reading my blog entries in my multiply before. makes me wanna remember all the stuff ive been through. the places ive been, experiences and blabla. haha. saya. makes me wanna crave for more. more like this
YEY. thesis revision for this week is over. defense next week. wish me all the luck. haha. we are all required to speak in pure, straight english. F. baka out of nervousness, i'd juggle my english vocab and make myself appear stupid. nooo. haha i cant let it get screwed up, for pete's sake!
anyway, as what ive said before:
SUPPORT ARIA CLEMENTE IN LITTLE BIG SUPERSTAR.
if you dont think that the kid is very adorable, chances are, you have something wrong with your eyesight or your olfactory sense :)
i know when to stop and when to hold. or do i? i wanna quit this feeling but i dunno which is more painful, quitting or sticking up. sticking up for what? labo. haha
uuhhm what can i say? early in the morning, my family went to church. dad, mom, lil bro and me. my elder brother went ahead since he fetched his girlfriend missy. we arrived exactly a few minutes before the mass started. my brother and his girlfriend followed when they arrived. after the mass, we decided to go to MOA. we walked from our church to the mall since it's very near lang. then halfway through the walking, my dad decided to get the car and park it somewhere near since the sun was at its peak, pricking our scalps. my brother decided to transfer the car too, to the nearest parking since it'll be hard to go back to his parking since he parked farther than us. then we headed to chef d' angelo since my lil brother insisted. i ate so much, i was really so full that i didnt bother eating the pizza. haaha they serve gigantic chicken kasi e amp. then after that, my mom said that they will fetch first our new helper (since we were planning to get rid of our helper because of some reasons.) and they will leave us there and just call me if they are near the mall again. okay. my brother and his girlfriend separated with us since they have their ride, they can go anywhere they wanna go. as for me, i had to stick up there. what did i do? hahaha.i searched for clothes. i saw a cute shirt in esprit, but it's expensive and my poor pocket wouldnt allow any payments to be committed. ahha. im a total bummer na talaga. gusto kong manalo sa lotto(as if tumataya ako haha) then i had starbucks. i was soo tired to walk to gloria jeans coffee even if i wanted the irish creme. haha. i had java chip in starbs instead. i read top gear magazine and searched for good sedans. haha. i want the suzuki swift. haha. i spent a lot of my time reading the magazine. then i fetched my lil bro to the computer shop since my mom called me that they are near the entrance na daw. then we went home. after i got online, my dad asked me to go to sm since one of our door locks got broken. i went to sm. didnt know a door lock would cost that much. anyway, i met up with sina dave, ken and jay. haha. saw aria clemente there :)) for a while lang, then went back home. then i realized i have 2 exams tom. and f* i dunno anything yet. haha. the topics covered are sooooo hard. hard enough to make my nose bleed. haha. kainis. i wanna graduate na talaga ang take resssssstt
i vehemently speak the words of my wisdom stringent as i am, im giving you your freedom im holding your picture while looking at the moon dreading of the thought that you will leave me soon i raucously shout your name in my dreams my tears wont stop flowing like water on the stream i sliced my wrist and let my blood spill im numb with physical pain, there's nothing more to feel i drenched in the cold just feeling the chill what kind of antidote will i need to heal? dont get fooled with my facade that i always try to show im fed up of the set up of trying hard to be your beau i won this game, i won this fight i stumble and lose coz you are always right im dying to see just a faint smile on your face i can no longer look in your eyes even if i want to gaze i bid my farewell and i bid my goodbye to say im over you is such a downright lie but since my battle will be defeated at the end the armory of my soul, i can no longer defend the sweet victory is always yours to take while i live in the world where being perfect is fake wish i have the power to turn the clock around so i can change my destiny and pull you back to the ground.
cant think of any title. anyway, just got home from my tita's 50th birthday. uuhhm, we went to her place in gen trias cavite. it's so far. took us 1 1/2 hours to get there because of traffic. ahaha. my mom, dad, and older brother picked us up sa house. when we went inside the car, the smell of albatross(sp?) reached our nose. wtf? turned out albatross is a customer of my dad and they had some things repaired with us and when my dad delivered them the thing, the aroma spread so well. haha. kainis, we couldnt transfer to the other car since we wont fit because our helper rode with us until outside the village. haha. when we reached the place, we blocked the whole street since there were lots of cars. haha. as in walang makakadaan. haha. anyway, i ate a lot. as in a lot talaga. haha. then i sang sa videoke amp. i sang high and you and me. haha i think i was off key since i wasnt able to sing properly cause my stomach was stuffed. then we left, it onky took us 30 min since there was no traffic. haha. yun lang
whoah. good thing my broadband is ok now. F*, it was busted yesterday. darn globe. i was trying to call them from 8:30 upto 1am and all they did was to put me on hold. gawd, i listened to josh groban's whole album already because that was the background song while i was on hold. during that time, i watched the videos that need watching, edited the photos that need editng. ahahaha anyway. im super stressed. god. i need rest sooo much. f* that thesis. if we'll be able to finish that with flying colors, im gonna take, like, 20 hours sleep. haha. anyway, i know most of you who are reading this, notice how morbid and creepy my new layout is. i know it kinda freaks the nerve of anyone who sees it but i know that everything varies on perspective. im proud of what i made. it was inspired by the avatar of amiela before. haha i look at it in a different perspective, like, how one would do all things just for love. haha. sweet, but harsh. haha. whatever. :)
haha. been searching thingies in YouTube. relax muna because stressed out ako this week. thesis arrghh. anyway, found an excerpt from if only. i love that movie. pinches my heart everytime i watch it. haha. i love the song too :)
ive spared you my sun, but i still have my light i want this pain to go away tonight ive shared with you my soul, but i still have my spirit ive been dying to see your lips and see the smile on it
ive surrendered to you my life, but never my existence since you like fooling around, where is your conscience? ive given you my all my love, but i still have my heart broken as it is, but you keep on tearing it apart
i sent to you my thoughts, but i still have my dreams keeping me sane and being deaf with your scream ive passed to you my strenght but i still have my might im tired, you know that, but i know i must fight
ive presented to you my freedom, but i still have my choice although my legs melt in a second, just hearing your voice ive bestowed to you my pride, but i still have my dignity hear my shouts of pain, stop sleeping in serenity
ive provided you my power, but i still have my will my body is numb with ache, i can no longer feel ive submitted to you my name, but i still have my identity how can i live, when that's all that's left of me?
uuhhm. lemme have a recap. because we were too early in school, we decided to eat first in red ribbon. too bad marjolaine was out of stock. kainis. i had chocolate torte instead. then back to school, since jet was with us, we thought of possible ways on how to sneak him into the school without the guard noticing. haha. when we entered the backdoor, we bluffed the guard. we said "kuya, may kinuha lang kami sa sasakyan, nag log na kami a while ago". haha. it was effective. haha. then we headed to the AVR, stayed for the seminar for quite a short time and snuck out of the room without any of them noticing. haha.
after that, we headed to rockwell. we decided to watch ghost rider. i bought first a large watermelon cooler with boracay bliss in bigchill. then headed to the cinema. the movie turned out great. i love it. haha
then went home. kainis. i spent a lot of money kanina. 500 bucks, gone. f* im gonna be a total bummer this week. haha. i need a raise. :))
I am on the process of setting ALL the contents of my multiply to 1st degree haha. wala lang, i just feel the need to secure every little piece of crap that can be found there. it'll take time since i have so many post there; photos, journals, reviews, videos, music. f*. itll take eternity. haha. goodluck to me.
kainis, i havta go to school later for a seminar thing. waaaahh. i might go to promenade after, though :)
*********************** tried creating a tagalog poem. hope i didnt suck. :)
ang lamlam ng gabi ay tila malapit na dumilim na at lahat, ikaw ba ay malapit na? pagod na ako sa kakahintay sa pagdating mo naghihintay parin kahit harapan mo nang niloloko
isang sulyap sa iyo, habang ikaw ay nahihimbing sa isang anghel ikaw ay aking ihahambing pero bakit ka nakakasakit ng ganito? ano bang pagkakamali ang nagawa ko sayo?
sawa na akong mag isip at pagod na din akong umasa na makikita ang iyong mga ngiti sa likod ng mga tala aalis nalang, kalakip ng mga luhang tumutulo pagmamahala ko sayo kailanma'y di maitatago
ikaw ang laman ng panaginip sa aking pagtulog sa iyong patibong, ako nga ay tuluyang nahulog wala kang kwenta at wala kang pakialam pagod na ako, at hindi mo yon alam.
I WANT A NEW CELLPHONE. hahaha. kainis. i want a samsung D900 or S.E. k800i. it's not that i dont want my v3x anymore, im still very much contented with it's features. i love taking pictures with it and all, but the problem is that the keys are slowly fading away. i asked motorola in MOA and they said having it changed will cost me a thousand bucks. a thousand bucks for a keypad, shut up! i want a new fone. i need donations. haha.
edit: the entry up there was posted kanina pa. ill add up something nalang
ive proven something today. something that ive been doubtful about. and heck, it's true pala. how could i have not known? stupid ko talaga. amp.
just got home a few minutes ago. so tired. haha i went to school. got home. haha took some rest.
my mom and dad were talking earlier about having a summer getaway in boracay or in pagudpod. hope it'll push through. :)) then my dad asked us if we want to go to bluewave. of course. haha. but heavy traffic caught us and macapagal blvd was closed. wtf. we reached bluewave around 10:15 already. haha. then watched live bands. i love the last band. they were so cool and funny. haha. i had starbucks since gloria jeans coffee was replaced by a bar na. kainis. i want irish creme pa naman sana!!!! anyway, we spent a lot. haha. naubos ang pera namin amp. hahaha. then went home na. :))
anyway. already fixed things with people. good thing *someone* and i are finally talking again after what i did last night. god. thank you.
i did something stupid. fuck. of all the people, why did i say it to her? this is how it went. not exactly the same words used.
her: he's online :x me: great. go and flirt with him her: :| me: i mean talk with him, not flirt with him. i suddenly typed that. her: that is so mean me: i know it's mean. her: hell yeah me: but you started it her: me? how come? :| me: why should i know that someone's online and you even put :x on it her: and so? whats the matter with that? me: god. be sensitive
im such a lame bitch. this is me, completely eaten by the so called insecurity. i used to be so secure, but all of a sudden, just because of her, my defenses were melted. but i cant help it. i was hurt. i know it wasnt her intention to do so, but since im a jerk, i bit the temptation.
anyone, do me a favor. kill me please.
i need my friends now. but they arent around. f* this world.
i shouldve known. since when did you actually care? nah. never. oh yeah, maybe there were certain circumstances that you did, but pretentiously or maybe forcefully. i have a very good memory of everything and i used to think that all you showed was real, not so much now, though. anyhow, thank you for the effort. it cost you a lot. good day to you. :)
note: nobody, as in NOBODY knows what or who i was talking about up there ^^ so dont assume. :)
and oh by the way, fcuk. heard this blaring on the radio a while ago. surprise surprise, it's a boyband song. now, dont get me wrong, i dont say i never sang any boyband song in my entire life (especially when i was still a foolish young boy haha), but as i grew older ive become less and less fonder of 'em. haha. anyway, back to business, as i was saying, i heard this song and the lyrics struck me so hard. haha. anyone who knows me, knows what i am talking about, so shut up >:)
"Who Do You Love"
Here we are You tell me I'm the only one Who makes you feel love again There you go I see you watching him When you don't think I know Should I let you go?
So who's it gonna be Is it him or me?
chorus: Who do you love? Who do you need? You're messing up my mind Wastin' all my time
Who do you love? What do you feel? Stop playin with my heart You're tearin me apart
Am I the one who can make you fly up above Is it me who can take you higher than you're dreaming of Now who do you love? Who do you love?
Turn around Do you really think you could You'll play me like a fool For you Then I realize When you touch me it's like nothing I have known Could I let you go
whoah. great :)) it's valentines day today. and what can i say about that? F*. FINALLY. i told her na. hahah. ano ba yaaan. haha. it felt so good. hahaha. god, i love the feeling. haha.
anyway. amiela's face of the week in candy. check the site out www.candymag.com she'll be there till sunday.. i think.
HAPPY VALENTINES AGAIN EVERYONE. SPREAD THE LOVE :)
nothing much to blog about. haha. nothing's happening lately, usual craps lang. my life's getting a lil boring. anyway, i found this video in youtube. fcuk, i love it. haha. wish i can still find a dvd/vcd of this movie. this is entitled get over it. kirsten dunst's the lead and i dunno who else. haha. im such a sucker for this kind of romantic films. haha. yeah, whatever
ever had the experience when u suddenly feel that your chest will explode out of something but you don't know what to do with it? fuck. i keep on laughing haha just to lure you out into thinking that everything's going well but the world is really fucked upside down. finally, the joke is really on me.
hahah. i made a layout theme on my multiply just like here on my blogger. haha :)) anyway, heard a good song over crushie's blogger. haha. the song's title is dream of me by kirsten dunst. ganda. kakaiyak and nakakarelax. wtf? haha. basta its good. 1st time i heard it even if it was a long long time ago na pala. :)) i like some parts
"Let me sleep For when I sleep I dream that you are here You’re mine And all my fears are left behind I float on air The nightingale sings gentle lullabys So let me close my eyes
And sleep Per chance to dream So I can see the face I long to touch To kiss But only dreams can bring me this"
haha. thats heavy. sakit sa dibdib amp. haha anyway, i dont wanna go to school. haha. laziness struck me once again since i was on pressure last week. wtf, i constructed like, 20 pages of paper works. all ideas were mine, not CNPed from the internet. arrghh that's why my brain's malfunctioning. nga pala, i tried viewing my page on Internet Explorer. pop ups came amp. IE sucks talaga. ahhahaha
edited: composed this a while ago
"dont make me"
dont make me stare in those cold, blank eyes once more my heart's not ready yet since the last time you tore dont make me believe in happy ending when u havent shown me yet the beginning dont make me feel alive in your arms once again i know you'll leave me soon, please tell me when dont make me a fool, biting your fake affection im getting tired each day, show your true intention dont make me believe that miracles come true when you are planning to break my heart in two dont make me fall in the gentleness of your hand i love you but i hate you, i dont understand dont make me dream my thoughts of you ive been through a lot, believing your lies to be true dont make me feel your breath, oh so close you know i cant resist cause thats the way it always goes dont make me hear those words of your goodbye when that time comes, i know ill surely die dont make me be the one to be crashed in the end ive always loved you but just pretending to be your friend :(
i created a new theme design again for my blogger. i just edited some stuff and made a new banner. it is inspired by the song make me whole by amiel larrieux (sp?) haha. love that song. effect of boredom though. :))
waaaaahhh!!!!!!!!! FINALLY. AFTER A WEEK OR SO. AMPPP GOD. THANK YOU. hahaha i freaking miss the internet. hahaha i have a new monitor now. we didnt get the 19" flatscreen samsung since when we tried testing it, it had some technical stuff. we bought instead the 17" flatscreen dell. fair enough. hahah and we bought din another SDRAM para naman to upgrade my ancient pc. haha wala lang i really am just so happy i have my monitor again. HAHAHA anyway, i watched little big superstar a while ago. haha. saw twin's audition before. t'was funny. haha. he won anyways, so congrats sam concepcion. haha. tagal na e :)) >:) shhh anyway, my bet is aria clemente. vote for her. haha i remember tita gene said one time that she'll remember my surname because aria and i have the same surname. haha. but i like her not just because we have the same surname, is it because we could possibly be relatives since she is from malolos bulacan and my lolo used to live in malolos too. haha. weird much. she's great anyways. vote for her. hahaha
waaahhh. self-check. im already ballistic. seriously. haha. not online for like, a week. gawd i nearly died. good thing is, we're buying monitor later. im eyeing on this 19" flatscreen from samsung. hope we'll get it. haha. anyway, while on my way to school, we saw a guy that was hit by an ambulance. i was busy leaning my head at the back when my mom and dad said "OH!!" and then i saw the dreadful sight. hope the guy's alright. but it was ironic since the accident was caused by the ambulance. haha. the only good thing that happened was that i am finished with the book i was reading. BARTIMAUES TRILOGY was really good, although ive only read book one which is The Amulet of Samarkand. it was well-written.
nothing much, i think i should go. module exam's ahead of me. goodluck. haha
im on skul again. hahahah. i miss the internet so much. i hate being timed. arrggh wala lang, just thought of posting something. god, i miss my multiply. :(( haha. im dead sleepy right now. i only had 3 hours of sleep. my nose is friggin clogged till now. i cant breathe properly amp.
well, im on a public internet shop right now. aarrgh, my monitor is still busted. it is on the repair shop, though. BUT phoneline.broadbandline is okay now. GOD i miss the internet so much. haha. anyway, a recount of what happened to me. last friday, went to glorietta to have lunch. then went back to school. good thing exam in netman was cancelled. WHEW. haha. since we dont have ride every friday, i hitched with alvin's new innova. then went home. we waited for my brother because we'll go to SM to buy bills and have lunch. wen we reached SM, my mom called that we hafta be at my tita's house because there is a bday thing going on there. so after paying the bills, we left the mall. i ate a lot. haha last saturday, i was late in my class. my mom bought stuff pa kasi before my brother dropped me in buendia. i took the cab there alone. 65 bucks was irrational since it was a saturday. anyway, i arrived at school at 9 and went home around 10:30. haha. cool much. im reading now a new book. it is a TRILOGY. the title of the book is BARTIMAUES. i find it really cool. thanks for my cousin for lending me the copy. then a while ago, my family went to church. my dad was at work, so my brother drove for us. then we ate at MOA after in chef d' angelo. i was so full. then some friends told me there'll be coming there. so i waited. i had coffee in starbs and then went to the launching of ms vista. i told my mom to just leave me there and i will just take the shuttle home. after hours of boredom, it was my great displeasure to receive a message that no one is going to MOA. but i blame no one. i was just very upset about it. a waste of time. money. effort. energy. and all. my spirit was devastated.
anyway harm is done. no need to say anything about it.
i typed this 2 nights ago when i had nothing to do.
i will now release all my inhibitions when all i needed was alittle bit of your attention i will keep my feelings and all of my affection cause you know ive suffered so much devastation say my name and ill burst into flame all my life, ive lived in shame ill snatch your heart and write my name ive always been a fool, playing your game where did u get the courage for those words to utter when to you, my existence doesnt even matter i miss your voice, i miss feeling the shiver i miss the song thast makes my heart shimmer ill quit you now in a leap of a minute ill quit you now cause my heart cant take it ive prayed for so long for our eyes to meet watch me die now, burried under six feet throw me out fo your life cause i have no more use to you ive waited enough for you to say you love me too im looking in your eyes, i wanna see your tears drop im leaving your shadow, just tell me and ill stop ive suffered so much, so much from this bleed i miss the old you i have fallen inlove with i guess you are happy and i guess you agree that the broken down boy at the end is gonna be me
arrggh. still posting via school's internet. condition at home got worst. monitor busted, fone line/broadband line got grounded. we'll still have it checked by the electrician. i know it'll take time. and it sucks. well, night time wasnt really boring. i watched again movies and some documentaries on local channels. i love 'em, i mean the documentaries.
anyway, about the tension going on between friends, i still dont find myself regretting the things i did. i remember a friend saying "ano nalang iisipin ni ganito ganyan...".. fuck, should i consider first what other people's reaction would be if they hear it rather than showing off my REAL emotions? sorry, di ko kailangan magbait-baitan sa harap ng ibang tao.. this is me. i show myself. i do not conceal my true personality. if im mad, i consider my feelings first before other people, because it is my emotions theyre playing at. i dont need to be angel-like infront of the people close to my heart. i dont feel the need to please anybody. so sorry for that. and besides, it wasnt only me who has something to say to that person. the only problem was, i was the only one who had the courage to voice it out. you want me to name names? nah, i never do that. the only matter is, i can say it and they cant. better say it than say that i backbite. you guys know me, im as brutally honest as possible.
