Dear Jesus,

first of all, i wanna say thank you for everything. for giving me my mom and dad and for making our family strong. i thank you lord because you never make me experience lacking of things. i always get what i need and most of what i want. i deeply thank you , Jesus, for being my bestfriend. For making me a strong person that i am today. for giving me the friends that i have always looked for. for giving me an excellent year last year. thank you, simply for everything.

However Lord, i must admit many times i have doubted your love for me. You see Lord, people always feel your love when they experience happiness, and we tend not to, when we experience pain. I must confess Lord that many times, i want to give up. that many times i want to take a rest because im tired. i must admit Lord, that sometimes, i have thought of just ending this up. i often ask you Lord why do you give me pain when you have given me my seemingly almost perfect life? Yes Lord, people think my life is perfect, i guess it's almost perfect, but it's not. I know that your pain and sacrifices are not as big as mine, but i often question Lord why do you give us problems? i always forget that you will never give me things that i cant handle. but sometimes, pain is too much that it makes me numb. not only numb with pain but numb with feelings.

with those said, Lord, i wish i can still talk to you like i always do. i know you will always lead me to where i should be going. I apologize for all the things i did that made people's lives miserable.

-jan