why do i still hold on even if i feel that you are getting distant and distant everytime. if only i can turn back the hands of time, i will make each moments with you count the most. i will not be afraid. i will take chances. im willing to accept risks. but now, even if you dont tell me, i can somehow feel through the coldness of your shoulder that things are not the way they were before. it's a constant slap in my face every waking moment that you have proven me that people can change, that you can change. the change in you made me feel dumbfounded and scared. im afraid that you will slowly, slowly go away. away from me. away from all the moments we once had. away from my protection and away from my love. should i still fight my losing battle with you? or should i just give up and accept the fate of hopeless romantics shit like me? i do believe that there are some things worth fighting for, but sometimes, one should know when to give up. i dont wanna give up yet, cause i still believe in my love. MY LOVE. not YOUR LOVE, nor OUR LOVE. you see, as much as i want to fight, i feel pity. i feel pity for myself because all this time, all ive been trying to do is fit in to your world, live inside your world and please everyone that includes your world. ive never been me because it has always been about you and you alone. i love you more than i love myself. and i dont want that. i dont want that because you seem so naive that just one smile can inject me with so much strength. one tear from you breaks the armory of my soul and makes me comfort you even if it is me who needs comforting. despite of all the pain you caused me, the only thing that keeps me alive and happy is just a smile from you. a smile from you. just a faint smile from you.




*okay that was dramatic. whatever lang. just feel like constructing these kinds of shit haha*